First off I love you Auntie. I am so grateful of everything you have done for me. You have always been here for me. I do not know if I would still be alive, if it wasn't for you. Today is my one year "anniversary" of being out of the nut house. Which also means I have lived with you guys for one year. This year has had its ups and its downs. A year ago I was not strong at all. I was immature, ungrateful, broken, out of control, and most of all I was completely selfish. I am not sure what else has changed but it is because of you. I am a better person and I have been able to be successful. None of that would have happened if it wasn't for the greatest people in my life.
I have learned the secret of happiness: appreciation. Appreciation for what you have, whether it's a little or a lot. It might not seem like it on my depressing days. One of my biggest fears is hurting people because of my selfishness. Which happens more then I want. Besides loneliness, my selfishness is the hardest thing for me to deal with when having depression. Well it probably is a difficult trait to deal with even if you are not depressed. But it is more discouraging when the person doesn't realize they are being selfish.
Thank you for showing how selfish I can be and not shutting me out, when it does happen. You have shown me what is greedy and what is not. You are understanding of my selfishness. And you keep the faith, you have for me, becoming a stronger and more amazing person. You have helped me find good coping skills and steered me away from bad coping skills. Even though I still practice the lousy ones, I am getting better. Hey, it takes time. Plus, I will always have bumps in my "road of life." (I learned that from you, thank you so much.)
The top thing I struggle with is loneliness, which is a part of being co-dependable. There are days, you can not help me fully. But just being here for me, giving me a hug, telling me I will find the right guy/ I don't need someone at this time- helps me enormously. You have taught me not to give into my feelings. What I am mean by that is, sometimes my chemical imbalance takes over. You have taught me to be stronger and realize what I need and what I don't need. Most of the time I don't take your your advice. But that's me, gotta find out things the hard way. Thank you for giving me your opinions and options. And being there when I crash.
I think I am going to end this letter, with thanking you for making me feel good about myself. I have had so many people bring down my self-esteem. I have had a great deal of people tell me; I am a horrible, ugly, ungrateful, piece of shit, that will not succeed in life. You have given me hope. And for that I am very thankful. There will never be enough space for my thoughts on how much appreciate you. I know, I should be thanking you mostly for giving me a roof over my head, food, and money. But I think you already know I am thankful for that.
Maybe you don't. If so, thank you so much. But I truly am very grateful that you have faith in me and have shown me how to have hope. Every time I look at my tattoo, I think about you. I love you and always will. We might get mad at each other, sometimes, but that is life. Right? So to end this- thank you for dealing with me for a year and how many ever years it takes me to be out on my own. Thank you for giving me great life lessons and keeping me safe. And for saving my life twice, when I tried to commit suicide. (which most people do not know I have done.) Love you and once again thank you so much. Like I said before, there would not be enough space to explain how much I appreciate you and everything you have scarified for me.
I have learned the secret of happiness: appreciation. Appreciation for what you have, whether it's a little or a lot. It might not seem like it on my depressing days. One of my biggest fears is hurting people because of my selfishness. Which happens more then I want. Besides loneliness, my selfishness is the hardest thing for me to deal with when having depression. Well it probably is a difficult trait to deal with even if you are not depressed. But it is more discouraging when the person doesn't realize they are being selfish.
Thank you for showing how selfish I can be and not shutting me out, when it does happen. You have shown me what is greedy and what is not. You are understanding of my selfishness. And you keep the faith, you have for me, becoming a stronger and more amazing person. You have helped me find good coping skills and steered me away from bad coping skills. Even though I still practice the lousy ones, I am getting better. Hey, it takes time. Plus, I will always have bumps in my "road of life." (I learned that from you, thank you so much.)
The top thing I struggle with is loneliness, which is a part of being co-dependable. There are days, you can not help me fully. But just being here for me, giving me a hug, telling me I will find the right guy/ I don't need someone at this time- helps me enormously. You have taught me not to give into my feelings. What I am mean by that is, sometimes my chemical imbalance takes over. You have taught me to be stronger and realize what I need and what I don't need. Most of the time I don't take your your advice. But that's me, gotta find out things the hard way. Thank you for giving me your opinions and options. And being there when I crash.
I think I am going to end this letter, with thanking you for making me feel good about myself. I have had so many people bring down my self-esteem. I have had a great deal of people tell me; I am a horrible, ugly, ungrateful, piece of shit, that will not succeed in life. You have given me hope. And for that I am very thankful. There will never be enough space for my thoughts on how much appreciate you. I know, I should be thanking you mostly for giving me a roof over my head, food, and money. But I think you already know I am thankful for that.
Maybe you don't. If so, thank you so much. But I truly am very grateful that you have faith in me and have shown me how to have hope. Every time I look at my tattoo, I think about you. I love you and always will. We might get mad at each other, sometimes, but that is life. Right? So to end this- thank you for dealing with me for a year and how many ever years it takes me to be out on my own. Thank you for giving me great life lessons and keeping me safe. And for saving my life twice, when I tried to commit suicide. (which most people do not know I have done.) Love you and once again thank you so much. Like I said before, there would not be enough space to explain how much I appreciate you and everything you have scarified for me.