What is this unknown memory
I seriously do not remember
Help me! Help me! Help me!
Scary thoughts
Running, Jumping, booming
Crash, bang, and scatter
Imagine a clueless little girl. In a new school, wanting friends. And at this school, was a darkness. To dark for anyone to see. Now all you see is a soccer goal! Balls are flying everywhere. They won't stop. Faster, faster, faster! Now they are swirling through the air. You better watch out! They are coming for you!
Time freezes, the din of my house grows louder, a chill runs up my spine
No need to think about this, run, run, faster
The balls are chasing you
Are those my thoughts?
Do those balls symbolize my thoughts?
That goal, well the goal is my goal.
Now imagine not remembering a thing. From day one to year 17. Yes, you remember small pieces of your childhood. But your mind is blocked. Then you find the pleasure of sex, you've experienced it, you've loved it. But now the memory slowly comes back. Not all of it unfortunately. Rape, touching, secrets, ears. Friends.
Confusion is still on my mind
Please help me! Mind
Either remember or forget
Either no one knows
Or no one care
But who cares, fuck it!
Maybe they just didn't realize. This is Vermont. Shit does fucking happen. But, so does my anger. Yes, my fucking anger is coming out. Pissed about the unknown. Pissed about the little pieces of memory. Wanting to just feel not so touched. I have the fear of that unknown. I know I should just move on.
But the older I get the more it haunts me...
I seriously do not remember
Help me! Help me! Help me!
Scary thoughts
Running, Jumping, booming
Crash, bang, and scatter
Imagine a clueless little girl. In a new school, wanting friends. And at this school, was a darkness. To dark for anyone to see. Now all you see is a soccer goal! Balls are flying everywhere. They won't stop. Faster, faster, faster! Now they are swirling through the air. You better watch out! They are coming for you!
Time freezes, the din of my house grows louder, a chill runs up my spine
No need to think about this, run, run, faster
The balls are chasing you
Are those my thoughts?
Do those balls symbolize my thoughts?
That goal, well the goal is my goal.
Now imagine not remembering a thing. From day one to year 17. Yes, you remember small pieces of your childhood. But your mind is blocked. Then you find the pleasure of sex, you've experienced it, you've loved it. But now the memory slowly comes back. Not all of it unfortunately. Rape, touching, secrets, ears. Friends.
Confusion is still on my mind
Please help me! Mind
Either remember or forget
Either no one knows
Or no one care
But who cares, fuck it!
Maybe they just didn't realize. This is Vermont. Shit does fucking happen. But, so does my anger. Yes, my fucking anger is coming out. Pissed about the unknown. Pissed about the little pieces of memory. Wanting to just feel not so touched. I have the fear of that unknown. I know I should just move on.
But the older I get the more it haunts me...